"Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth." (Chodron, 1997, p.1) I used to think that fear came from not understanding, and I believe this is still true, but I now know that it is not only incomprehension. Fear comes from seeing what you do not understand and being afraid of what the answer might be. Many people run when they are afraid, but "if we commit ourselves to staying right where we are they our experience becomes very vivid" (Chodron, 1997, p.2). The Buddhist belief system teaches us to become intimate with fear and to know it. I believe this is a good lesson because seeing fear and standing your ground is courageous, and it will help us grow and become stronger people. Fear is something the wise man welcomes, and even though it causes us to feel in a way we do not like we can teach ourselves to look at it as a gift. Fear just like everything else is not always what we think it is. Looking it in the eye can help us come closer to the truth.
"Things falling apart are a kind of testing and also a kind of healing." (Chodron, 1997, p.10) It is also part of the circle of existence because things are constantly coming together and falling apart over and over again. To realize this is a great relief, but it is also frustrating. In order to learn from our feelings when we feel upset we should stay with that feeling and to get to know it. I find this kind of difficult because my natural inclination is to fix things, but I am practicing remembering that things will come together again with or without my help. This is tough sometimes because when I have a problem I usually rack my brain trying to find a solution, but I am trying to not worry about it so much because I believe my natural inclination to solve problems will be what changes the situation. Buddhist beliefs suggests that problems are never solved, and that is probably true because they continually arise, but I believe that learning to trust myself even when I mess up is the best thing I can do because there are always options. These options may not be what my original plan was, but they will work out as well, and I believe possibly for a better outcome.
Buddhist beliefs can help you to relax. It can teach you to be OK with feelings that you may not usually like. It has taught me to have the "courage to die, the courage to die continually" (Chodran, 1997, p.3). I have found that I and many people fight against death. Practically most of the world would do anything to fight against death, but this is not healthy. It is healthy to "feel fear" when we reach our limit, and it is healthy to take this fear "as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us" (Chodron, 1997, p.16). This means facing problems and seeing them for what they really are; it also means seeing ourselves for who really are. Instead of shrinking away from out limit we should treat it as "a doorway to sanity and the unconditional goodness of humanity" (Chodron, 1997, p.18). This is where meditation can be the most helpful. I always thought of meditation as a way to relax, but I realize it brings relaxation through conflict as well. We meditate so that "we'll be more awake in our lives", and I believe being more awake will help us see things for what they truly are (Chodron, 1997, p.19).
Meditation will help us see what we are doing clearly, and this will help us change what we do. I feel that I am more capable of seeing what I am doing clearly, and I realize that this will not fix my problem, but it will help me change my actions.
The Buddhist belief system may seem frustrating at first. It requires you to accept and deal with a lot of things that seem scary or intimidating, but it is based on honesty. This honesty will help you to stop struggling in your life. It will also allow you to act with compassion which is important to a healthy life and a healthy world.
References:
Chodron, P. (1997). When things fall apart; heart advice for difficult times. Boston, MA: Shamabala Publications, Inc.
